I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
