Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize