the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
All the doctor said was why
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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