I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
