A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
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I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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