What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
