They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
