Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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