Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
