I wish life had little blips of pornography
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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