her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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