Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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