Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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