What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
