The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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