I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This baby is an asshole
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
