i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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