Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
