Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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