when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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