Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Green mimosas i think yes
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
