wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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