I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
