you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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