i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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