Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
