i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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