He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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