maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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