Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
