ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
