Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
