She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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