you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
