I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
