I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
