Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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