he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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