How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Randomize
