Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
