i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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