What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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