But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't put those talents on a resume
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize