I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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