And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
