just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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