I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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