i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
