I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
