once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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