woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
