not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My ass is underappreciated
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize