he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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