I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
