Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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