Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
