She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
