I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I skipped work to stalk him.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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