hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize