wakey wakey hands off snakey
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
