come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
