I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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