You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
