Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
