So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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