dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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