he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
