you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
