ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
